My recent movies..

I don't mean to offend anyone but I fail to understand after brilliant bollywood movies in the past, 'Ghajini' is breaking all records at the Box office. I am a fairly optimist fellow with high tolerance and low expectations from a lot of things :) even then Ghajini felt torturous! I had half of my mind to ask for a refund. Asin, in her attempt to look cheerful and bubbly could not have overacted more to save her life. The villain made me laugh ! The get up, the stare and the accent were all too made up. The movie could have capitalised on the memory loss angle but used it only twice in the film... what a shame !! And aren't we all done with Rajnikant action? there is nothing amusing about it anymore. I dug my nails into the seat when the romantic scenes came on... ' I love you ' on the bus !? ! I mean, let me take the scriptwriter out for a drink and give him a bit of friendly advice and tell him " dude this is 2008 ! " Any way, the fact that the movie is making so much money must have done something right even though it escapes me. On the other hand or other horizon, the brilliance of film making is aptly depicted by " The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" . Simple story so brilliantly told , it waters your eyes. Brad Pitt has found a new fan in me who respects his subtle pieces in this film to the core. The screenplay, the special effects, dialogues, the sensitivity so brilliantly handled. I need to use some other adjective than Brilliant for this movie but nothing else comes to mind. I remember what i felt when I came out of the hall after each of these movies. I think you can pretty much tell after you have read the above! Today is the day I will watch Slum dog Millionaire. Have heard many good things about this film.. hopefully it does not leave me with a bad taste in my mouth !

Namesake!

I just watched “The Namesake” – the master piece from Mira Nair. It has been long… no let me correct that – really long that I have seen such a brilliant piece of cinema. What an amazing story! How beautifully filmed! Made me cry, laugh and wonder all at the same time. This is what I am here for – perspective; perspective and experiences to make me live my life in much more meaningful way.
The movie, if seen at some other time, probably wouldn’t have had such a profound effect on me. Everything about it, India, parents, different culture, finding a partner… all resonated with me so well because of the place and situation I am in. I still recommend it to people who appreciates good cinema, a story so aesthetically told. There are so many subtle things about the film, so carefully placed and timed, that makes you think. My respect for Mira Nair, as a filmmaker, has grown many folds.
Another ‘life changing experience’ that I recently went through, “Tuesdays with Morrie”. An absolute essential for everyone everywhere in every stage of life- life’s little instruction booklet. It has so much ‘soul’, so many answers to what everyone asks day in day out. Read it and then gift to someone really important in your life. Let me not be cynical – give to everyone who are really important in your life, I promise that you wont regret it. It is written by Mitch Albom who has brilliantly captured his visits to his professor Morrie Schwartz. He visits his mentor every Tuesday, in his mentor’s last days’, to learn about life form the eyes of a person who knows when he is going to die. It is a book that will ‘humble’ you and again provide you with a different perspective (by now you would know that it is my favourite word!). It will sneak up from behind and grab your heart, one of the reviews said. I could not agree more.
For those who didn’t know, I have just returned from a 3 week long visit from ‘home’ country – India. I am still in the process of letting the feeling sink in that I have moved! I think it will be quite sometime before I get to go back again. May be it will sink in then…

From Sydney!!

Well here I am … and some would say “Its about time!!” (It is my vanity that tells me that some people still read what I have to write). Well, I agree that it’s been really long since I sat down and started clobbering the key board to churn my thoughts on the screen but then again, and just to reason, it’s been a mad roller coaster ride lately. People who know me closely would testify to that fact. I have now come to believe that there is enough meat in my head that I can send out to cyberspace.

Now that I am here after the biggest gambit I have ever taken with my life – marriage can top that still I think. I am now in a different country, with a different job, around different people, tasting different kinds of food, living in a new place to live far away from home away from my family. A country radically different than where I came from, I think it will take a while to settle. “Too big a change” some would say and it wont be unfair to do so. It is big by any standard. So big that I don’t think have the ability to feel it completely. I guess time would help ‘sink it’ in for me. One more statement that I get to hear is “But … you were doing so well?” This really cracks me up. I am not going to prison people!!! Professionally, this was a no-brainer. Not that I have arrived in life but it gives me so much perspective that it is worth its weight in gold. Personally, yes I agree, I am not sure if I am better off than before … yet. Though there are tons of things to see and experience, I had lots of people around me that cared for me which made my life very easy and comfortable. That’s something I don’t get here and I am not too sure in an alien country it will come easy but then technology is definitely helping. The physical distance still remains but connections are becoming smaller.

Nonetheless, I think it was required, for me atleast. I was stuck in a middle of daily grind so big that I no could longer tell what was wrong or right. I could not tell how I was doing, how I was thinking, I could not tell my real friends from the fake ones, I didn’t know what I wanted – an utter state of confusion believe me! To me this is that first step in the journey of figuring out my priorities and then a lot more. I also think it make help me find some ‘answers’ that I have been asking myself lately. Many of you might say that you don’t have to go far away to solve for those. I say that you do, sometimes atleast. Only when you are so far is when you are really able to look close enough. It might be too early to say but I think I am getting to know myself better; I am getting to know the people who matter to me, people who REALLY care. It is still not that clear, as yet maybe, but I know, deep down inside, that I will get there… soon. This is something, which, until recently, I didn’t know how to handle. I guess I am lucky that I got to experience this. My advice, to all that who care to take, is to get out of that comfortable chair and go through the experience life has to offer!

More soon…

Away from home

Well I dont know where to start, I just got home after a 1 and a half month long trip to the States and UK.. it sounds very exiciting and to be honest it is (was) but only in pieces and died quickly. There is no place like home is a phrase which i now know the real meaning of .

US was easy going fun place which seemed intriguing for the first 3-4 days and then it settled. I found the people very helpful in contrast to what I had previously .

They go out of their way to help instead of being loud and rude. I work in an american company and have had the 'pleasure' of dealing with them a lot but its different to interact with them in their own country.

UK was a lot more fun .. lot of culture..fun places which werent loud..pity I was only there for a short time.

Enough about places, here comes the real thing. I had a nightmare one of the nights I was sleeping in the hotel in Phoenix. The details are too personal to share and also obscure because the unconscience does not know of any logic but surely knows how to get the message across.

To give you an idea about what it was, it concerned my family. I woke up short of breath, hollow, shaken up, guilty, sweaty, frozen for good 10 mins until I realised that I have woken up !
Quickly put on the plush robe (given to me by the hotel :)) and went to the balcony to get some air. After a few minutes light up a smoke ..still dazed .. dont know what hit me.

The dream made me realise how much little I had given back to my family over the past years and how they have supported me in my every little mini ambition ... the support had been unconditional , where as I was all about not getting adequate space to do 'my own thing'..

Made feel shit ..unworthy.. I constantly got in the frame of mind to mend things when i get back and suddenly I started missing home like I had never been there and was the sole pupose in my life.

Most of the past decade I had spent head deep into my work, kept my self busy , concentrated on my girlfriends... the fact that i had unconsciously kept my family very low in the priority list never struck me till now.

A confused person that I am , I still dont have an idea how I will make it right . all I know is that I will tilt lot more attention towards my family now.

My 0.2c on this is that whatever your passion in life is dont let family take a back seat. Life is very complicated , ruthless, unforgiveness and there is nothing like family to back you up . I am not saying that stick to family purely for selfish reasons but its the greatest feeling of unconditional belonging that atleast I have come to realise.

Do what you have to and fix this......

Presumptuous me!!

Thank you to all who wrote comments and emails to me about my previous entry. It lets me know that I am in a place where I am surrounded by people who matter. Believe you me, it’s a great feeling.

I think that a little clarification is required… I have to stop writing these 2-3 minute speed writing blogs (though the current one is no exception but I have always been a slow learner)… there can’t be a more fitting case of over confidence ….akin to swim the English Channel after first 20 twenty minutes of swimming in a baby pool!!

I have been congratulated, blessed , passed on good wishes, asked curious questions about my previous entry and this is all I have to say …. I was presumptuous in my claim when I said that “Dont know about you but I found mine”

This is how it works. This blog is predominantly an outlet for me, conversations with myself, sporadic thoughts in the cyber world. I don’t realise the audience, the manner, my choice of words, I just write on with completely content to give structure and words to my thoughts and feelings. Last post demonstrates this best. I went on to declare that I have ‘found mine’ at a stage which I now realise was too preliminary and my thoughts naïve. Truth is that I am close, not quite there, and got too excited, jumped the gun and shouted as if to say “Eureka” ! I felt the connection and almost immediately didn’t .

I do stick to my earlier closing that one should feel arrived in life if one has found that person. I am close but not quite there……..

U turn ? For good ? ?

When is the last time the evening fell so hard and you had no one to turn to ? I reckon, if I think I know people, that this moment comes too often for comfort. There is an inner feeling that tells you that no one understands, no one feels the same, no one knows what to do , no one has the time, no one is genuinly concerned, no one is unselfish.........
Feel alone? I bet you do ... every one does... but let me tell you .. not that I am an authority on the subject, that in this 6 billion people loaded earth there are people who are not in the bracket you are trying to categorise them in, who would care . The best part is that they are happy to help you, the luck factor is to find them. For those who have been lucky should also realise that they have found them .
Life becomes a little easier then - doesn't it ? Dont know about you but I found mine. You can think what ever you want , give it any name you want - I dont care because it is too special to gain society's recognition.
When you get to a stage when life pulls you a fast one and you think you reached the end. I am sure the energy is just not enuff to pull through .. look fr a u turn with the person you found of course.. makes life easier and livable..
My advice..find that person .. can be any one .. build a support system .. get more out of life.. u do that .. n let me tell you that you have arrived in life !! :)

How much money is enough ?

Well...isn't this the eternal question ? The greed is killing everyone .. yes a strong word such as 'killing' . Consumerism and peer pressure are the main culprits. The effects of greed can be traced to broken relationships, heart troubles, blood pressure etc . The world is a very different place when your eyes have turned green with $$$$$ covering your eyes. Suddenly things that really make u happy become invisible ... that time when the laughter was genuine, that last engaging conversation, the cool breeze by the sea, ..... the list is endless

Heard the talk about replacing country's GDP with a Happiness index "GDH" ? Do you then know the reason why ? There is a separate debate on how a buynch of numbers prove the level of happiness but lets not go there . At this point, lets assume that it is possible and explore the reasoning of the intent rather.

My personal opinion is the intent is noble but the name given is misleading.. I say this because the eay happiness is defined.. it again linkes it to the amount of disposable income left with people after basics like health care, education, housing etc are taken care of. A very good way of looking at things one would say but my point is that we are again linking it back to money so in essence we have the lost the wholw point. If it really about happiness, then availibility of natural resources, cleaner environment, number of sick people, heart patients etc . If this ignores the money portion which many rightly believe is critical then look at two indices together would make sense.

To my mind we need to alienate money from happiness and satisfaction. Research has shown that money is not what drives people . I have always believed in it so far but my dept satisfaction index proved otherwise . A recent survey in my dept showed all indices moving northward except the ones dealing directly with money. This inspite of major salary corrections been done in the recent past. But when I think deeply again I am more and more convinced that is not about the money . If most of the team got it then why the answer? It convinces me that its more about communication and more about gettting a taste of reality .

Do you have an answer? Post it . I will be very interested...